Marriage of Convenience
by lisiqe
Summary: You and Sans drink every Friday and complain about life. A drunk idea to solve both of your problems comes to you. Will it work out? (also why is there no reader tag on here?)


Hello Everyone! Here is another story of mine, this is the only chapter so far. I have a couple of other stories I'm working on so I'm not quite sure when I will be able to update this next. I'm going to try to add my other stories on here. Everyone has been really nice so far 3

You and Sans had been friends for, well almost as long as the monsters had been on the surface. You two met one Friday night at a bar and hit it off pretty fast. So it became a tradition with the two of you to meet every Friday at that bar, well until Grillby was able to open his new bar on the surface. There was no real change to Friday night plans except now it happened at Grillbys. You became the first human regular at Grillbys though you rarely came without Sans.

This isn't to say that you didn't meet up with Sans outside of Fridays. You had met his brother Papyrus, who was the greatest, so Wednesdays became Spaghetti Wednesday slash anime night with Undyne and Alphys. Monday was "Bring Your Human To Work Day" as Sans liked to jokingly call it, in truth you just hung out with him at one of his jobs. Also, it wasn't uncommon for the two of you to hang out when you weren't busy. Fridays though, those were special, that was the night where the both of you got drunk and complain about whatever happened that week.

Sans had been trying, for just as long as he has known you, to officially adopt Frisk. It's been quite a tough battle and with a lot of roadblocks in his way. Even with the backing of both Toriel and Asgore the human court system didn't seem to want to allow Sans adoption rights. You knew part of it was because he was a monster, though the court would never admit that. There was the fact he was well male. A single father wasn't exactly prime adoption material for the human court system. Who had for some stupid reason the idea implanted in their head that Frisk needed a female parental unit. Toriel had stepped forward but the court had shook their head stating since she did not live with the skeletons and was busy with her job to truly be there for Frisk.

Of course, you had your own problems as well as trying to get a degree. The college itself wasn't the issue, no, it was the cost of going to school that was causing you problem. The rise in prices hurt, the fact you couldn't get much from financial aid meant also hurt. It also meant that you had to start putting in more and more of your own money each semester just to cover the cost. That is until you hit the wall unless you got more in financial aid there was no way you were going to be able to afford next semester. So close to the finish line yet so far away. There was also no to even take a break for a semester because then you would lose your financial aid and would have to start that whole process over again.

After a couple of drinks, Grillby made some really amazing mixed drinks, the solution came to your drunken mind.

Marriage.

It was the solution to both of your problems. Neither you nor Sans had a significant other. Hell, neither of you even entertained the idea of seeing anyone let alone get married. The idea of marriage just never seemed like something either of you wanted. Content to being single a just hanging out with their friends.

Yet it would be the easiest solution.

Sans was definitely thrown for a loop when you presented your solution to him.

"Like think about it," Sans scrunched his face up a bit but you grab his shoulder and face him to you. "No! Reaaaally think about it. Like if we got married it would so totally solve both our problems."

"I don't know kid." He didn't really think of you as a kid. It was just something he called every one, though you still hoped to change his mind one day on the nickname. Sans did look uncertain, after all, wouldn't it be strange if you just got married out of nowhere?

"Come on. With me around any arguments against you adopting Frisk go out the window. Cause well you know" You waved your hand up and down your body as if showing it off which made you giggle. It was clear you were drunk but you continued onward. Why were you were so convinced about this plan? You had no idea, but that didn't matter. "I doubt they would have the balls to actually use the species card since the news would eat that shit up."

Grillby came by and dropped off another drink for both you and Sans. Sans took this opportunity to look away and focus on something else. This didn't stop you though as you took a swig from your beer.

"Besides the government gives more financial aid options for students that are married. It would help me out as well. Might even be enough to get me into my last couple semesters."

You could see the gears turning in his head. He was thinking about it at least. Despite being drunk you were making sense. Or did it only make sense because both of you were drunk? Who knows.

"Wouldn't that be cheating the system?" You shook your head so hard it was almost like you were shaking your whole body but then you paused and did the eh sigh with your hand.

"Only if we got divorced right away, cause they can say we only did it to get what we wanted." Wasn't that what they were doing though? "Besides, hasn't Papyrus been setting you up on surprise dates. Hoping you will find 'the one'," You did air quotes around the words the one. Ever since Papyrus started dating he had wanted to help Sans out in the romance department. Even though Sans had told him he wasn't interested. Well, he could never say no to his brother. " if you got married he might actually back off!" You finished off the beer you had been given Grillby denied you anymore.

Sans stared down at his glass and sighed in defeat. "What would we even need to do to get married in the first place?"

How did one get married? Now that wasn't a thought you had ever thought you would have. " I don't know, let me google that." It took you a couple of minutes to find your phone and a lot longer to look up the info. It seemed drunk you had a hard time spelling anything.

Finally, after a couple of minutes, you had your info. You also had a hamburger, Sans must have ordered it for you while you looked up the info since he also had one.

"It seems we just need a marriage license and someone to witness the marriage." That was easy enough, you and Sans could split the cost and Paps could act as a witness.

Sans caught you by surprise when he turned to look at Grillby. "Well, what do you say Grillby? Would you mind coming with us to watch us get married?"

"Thought you would pick Papyrus." You say curiously as you pulled your burger apart into bite-size pieces for dipping them into the ketchup.

Sans shrugged. "Papyrus would want to do everything by the book. If we want this done fast Paps wouldn't be the best witness. Besides Grillby's my best friend next to you. It only makes sense." That made sense so you nodded. Grillby was watching both of you with interest. "Besides surprising Paps with this, can you imagine his face?"

You laugh, Grillby sighed but finally spoke up. "Alright, Sans. I'll do it, but when you two are both sober, then you can message me and I'll meet you at the courthouse. Until then finish your burgers and go home."

It didn't take too long for you to get home. The massive headache the next day though made you wish you hadn't drunk so much. Let alone mix your alcohols. Your phone buzzed and you looked down at the message from Sans.

_Morning Honey, we got a wedding to plan._

And that was how your day started.


End file.
